I've never been one for New Year's resolutions. Perhaps the hustle and bustle of the holiday season left me wanting to trash every to-do-list, not make a new one. More likely, I was so caught up in school or work-related goal setting that I thought I had it covered.
This year feels different. Why? I'm kicking off 2015 as a new stay-at-home mom. And one of the things I've realized in the few months I've been in this role is that the success of my time at home with the kids is entirely up to me. Obvious? Perhaps. Difficult to embrace when you feel like tearing your hair out on a daily basis? Definitely.
Being a stay-at-home-mom is everything people say about it. It's an absolute gift to be with my children and help them grow into happy and healthy human beings. At the same time being a 24/7 mom has tested every fiber of my being. I didn't realize I was lacking in patience and compassion. I didn't know that when I was working after my first son was born, my work time was my "me" time. I had no idea my own inner two-year-old could throw an adult tantrum. I didn't know that being a good stay-at-home mom requires an incredible amount of personal discipline, everything from getting up in the morning (when you are SO TIRED) to setting a schedule for yourself and your family to understanding and controlling your moods.
One thing I really miss? Feedback. When you're a full-time mom, often no one tells you if you're doing a good job. There is no formal review structure. No boss to give you a pat on the back (or constructive criticism - which I desperately need now). No meetings in which to be recognized for your work. No one to say things like, "You're doing a great job in the creativity department - I like the artwork on the fridge - but I'd really like to see you develop your silly side."
Feedback aside - because there's nothing I can do to fix that problem - in a recent moment of (rare) quiet I realized that something I can do for myself in this new role is set goals. Things to get me energized and force me to grow as a person. With a new year upon us, I feel excited. I feel like jumping on this opportunity to better myself and my family and - gasp - set New Year's resolutions.
What's on my list? On the family side, I'd like to work on my patience, develop a mission statement for our family (cheesy, perhaps - but I think it will force us to think deeply about our values), do monthly or weekly learning themes for our kids and incorporate more prayer into our daily life. When it comes to personal development/care, I want do yoga at least once a week and take a music class (I took piano lessons for 13 years and directed an acapella group in college - I feel as if a part of me is missing without music in my life). Finally, to keep up with my professional skills I plan to take a photography and/or Photoshop class and blog at least twice a month. (I'm not off to the best start here in January with only one post, but this fresh start in the New Year also includes being kind and forgiving to myself!)
Do you have any goals you're taking on for 2015? I'd love to hear about them! Please share in the comments.
Cheers to a fabulous 2015!
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I am partial ... But I adore your blog and can't wait to read each new entry. Being another stay at home mom ... Your feelings totally resonate with me!! I am so glad to hear you taking time for yourself and music :). Mine has been sewing and books (I should work a bit on the physical one!!). I read something once that the first 5 years is what defines your child ... I totally agree with that. It is a ton of hard work. Some encouragement ... Some of that feedback comes in kindergarten when your child is surrounded by peers but without you more hours than before and they do what you taught them on their own ... Either kindness, reading, morality, etc. Mainly due to all those times you didn't think you had the energy but somehow found it to correct or teach just one more time :). Your almost there my dear friend ... Just keep on chugging :). You mentioned family mission statement ... Check out Stephen Covey Effective Habits for Families. There is a whole chapter on that. Love you and miss you!! GretchenReplyDelete
Thank you so much for the comment Gretchen. I was so tickled to see it pop up! I would love your comments on my blog, please chime in any time.Delete
Thank you so much for the encouragement. Sometimes - ok, lots of times - I wonder if I'm making the right decisions for my kids. I'm not the most decisive person (ha, understatement of the century) and yet, as a parent, I'm constantly making choices about how to raise our children. I think we all wonder if we're doing things the "right" way, as if the "right" way even exists at all. It's so wonderful to hear that you've seen your parenting (which is, by the way, amazing) already pay off with your oldest. I so admire you as a mom and try to emulate your nurturing, giving and steadfast approach in all that I do.
Thank you for the Steven Covey book tip. Just requested at the library!
Thanks for this blog! Even as someone who is not a parent (just yet), I can get so much from here! I look forward to more blog posts! -GarrettReplyDelete